


Fall into the flames your heart desires

by pastelkisaki



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken | Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Dialogue, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Other characters mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23651377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelkisaki/pseuds/pastelkisaki
Summary: Not strong enough to prevent a death, not strong enough to control the sword’s nature, not strong enough to continue anymore.
Relationships: Eliwood/Ninian (Fire Emblem)
Kudos: 11





	Fall into the flames your heart desires

**Author's Note:**

> The thought of Fallen Eliwood hasn't leave my mind for days, so I did this self indulgent thing with the idea. It's my first time attempting angst so...I don't know if it's good or not

Pain. If Eliwood could describe how he was feeling at that moment no word would be better, and even that was not enough. So much indescriptible pain all around both his body and mind, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t move, just stay in his place with an overwhelmingly heavy breathing that echoed through his ears, making him unable to hear anything outside from his own being.

Eliwood was in silence, but his throat and lungs hurt so much as if nothing but screams have come from them for a long time. He couldn’t hear anyone else, he felt like he was drowning in his own head with his thoughts running at light speed, shouting at him countless incoherent sentences he wasn't able to understand. It really was a nightmare, and how much he wished he would have been sleeping at the moment, either a dream or his whole body not reacting anymore in a timeless slumber.

His body felt hot, but all his extremities were cold as ice. His legs felt heavy, Eliwood was unable to move them, steady shivers wandering through them like never before. His hands were the most cold of all, his right hand holding a solid and rigid metal piece which was as warm as fire, the heat wrapping his fingers, then hand and lastly his whole body. It didn’t take long before the warmth was everything Eliwood could physically feel, like receiving a sturdy embrace shielding him from anything outside.

If Eliwood tried to say a word the flames around him didn’t let anything come out of his mouth, only silent cries communicating nothing but the deepest despair. And what else could he even say? His mind was blank.

_ Father….how long has it been? _

How much time has passed since his journey began? Eliwood couldn’t remember now. Just a couple of days, months, or perhaps even years? His memory was so hazy and his senses so numb that even if his father had disappeared merely a day ago, Eliwood wouldn’t be able to tell the pace of time. Oh how much worry that event has brought to him, such a hopelessness that if a messenger arrived with bad news he wouldn’t have gotten surprised.

Despite that, Eliwood always remained positive. For his mother, for the knights in service, for his homeland, for all Pherae, Eliwood would firmly believe that beyond the u ncertainty the Marquess would return.

But he never did.

Just when finally Eliwood found him, when finally everything started to make sense, when finally he was about to fulfill the mission for which his travels began, Eliwood was not able to save him. The man who gave everything for him and his people, but Eliwood could not give anything back. A kindhearted father with a strong sense of justice leaving everything to him, leaving everything to someone who wasn’t able to reach his main goal in the first place. Ever since that day, while holding the man’s cold hand and even in his sleep, Eliwood wondered how things would have turned out if he would have been a little more stronger, like Hector who could bear great loads and make his way through anything, or a little more agile, like Lyn who could find her path even in the most difficult of situations. Maybe if Eliwood shared more traits with them his father wouldn’t have to meet such a tragic end, even though it was his own path to take to begin with.

Eliwood felt pain and regret.

_ It’s not me. You, Eliwood. You killed her. _

Nergal’s words appeared clearly in the middle of nothing in his mind. Him. It has been nothing but him the cause for a tragic scene like this.

With teary eyes, Eliwood tried to focus his gaze. The Blazing Blade’s energy all around him overwhelmed his senses, so much heat but still feeling cold inside, it was difficult to see anything but blurry shadows and flames.

_ The ice dragon there… The beast slaughtered by your hand… That is Ninian. _

And suddenly everything felt so real again. The pain increased, the heaviness in his heart crushing even more than ever, feeling weaker and weaker with each second.

“Ninian…” Eliwood cried, almost inaudible.

The beast slaughtered by his hand...Ninian...The ice dragon in front of him… Eliwood looked at his hand, which was still firmly holding the Durandal, the Blazing Blade with which Eliwood performed the crime, and grabbed it with even more strength, the icy hand merging with the sword’s warmth like it was meant to happen.

The Durandal’s wielder, someone of great conviction and strength, a person with enough power to conquer adversities and be capable of controlling the ultimate weapon, both strong minded and remarkable skill. But Eliwood was nothing like that, at the moment his hand touched the sword, the blazing blade’s edge was more imposing than himself and in the blink of an eye the most terrible outcome was upon by his own action.

Eliwood’s lack of power cost something invaluable, something that will never come back, something that will be missed and grieved, and he was responsible for it. Ninian will never return, no matter what, and all was in his own hands, senseless bloodshed all over himself.

_ The girl you loved. The girl you swore to protect. She returned to her true form and lost all human memory. Yet you, above all else, remained in her heart, and she came here… Look upon the creature you have slain. That is Ninian. _

Eliwood must have known further. He was aware that Ninian had a secret, something that she could not tell no matter what, and he wonders if maybe there could have been a way for her to alert them, to open her confession to him and prevent a tragedy. Whatever the answer is, Eliwood guilts himself for not soothing Ninian enough, for not helping her being more comfortable around him, for not being able to become a pillar for her in crucial moments.

_ Ninian, I love you. That will not change not matter what may come. I don’t care what your secret is, I will still feel the same. If something troubles you, let me sweep it away. Please, don’t cry anymore, I would do anything to see you smile again. _

Not being able to fulfill a promise, not even to stand through his own claims, the Ice Dragon in front of him was quiet, Ninian would never be able to smile again and it was all Eliwood’s fault. His eyes were dripping, tears started to fall even more uncontrollably than before, and his hold on Durandal didn’t even weaken a bit. Looking at the figure in front of him made his heart feel broken in countless pieces like if Durandal itself had cut through it and set it aflame.

“Lo...Lord Eliwood…”

The Ice Dragon’s body shuddered, and after a weak light emanated from it Ninian's human body appeared again. Her eyes were barely open, her hand slowly making its way forward in his direction, and Eliwood focused on the huge pool of blood coming from her, freezing even more than before. His entire body felt more numb, but his hand still had a strong grip on Durandal, not letting it go from his hold and embracing the flames further and further.

Eliwood’s heart was screaming but he was silent, he didn’t move a single inch. Eliwood remained in his place as the Blazing Blade’s energy fogged his vision again.

“You’re unharmed, my Lord….I’m glad…” Ninian’s voice was getting quieter with each word “Pl...Please...this land...prote…”

The girl’s hand fell to the ground, her eyes closed and she stopped moving completely. Lyn and Hector were at her side, looking at him in disbelief, then at her with grieve. Eliwood didn’t even remember when they got there in first place.

“...Ninian!” just as she stopped reacting, the girl’s little brother regained his consciousness. How ironic. Eliwood felt guilty for Nils having to wake up to such a scene “...Ninian. Ninian?! Where is my…”

Not strong enough to prevent a death, not strong enough to control the sword’s nature, not strong enough to continue anymore. Eliwood heard Nils’s desperate shouts for his sister, and it was the last thing he felt before losing consciousness as the blade’s warmth grew stronger than ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading~


End file.
